I have been tweaked out this entire weekend.

Oh my god, I love meth. I love it. I like smoking it, but I seriously love snorting it. It stings like the biggest motherfucking bitch you have ever seen, but oh my god. I have never ever felt more amazing than I do on meth.

Okay. This weekend. I had jacuzzi sex. TWICE. WITH GARY.

OH MY FUCKING GOD GOOD LORD BABBY JESUS FUCKING CHRIST AND A HALF WITH A BAG OF CHIPS OKAY!?
It was amazing. His dick is perfect. So I went to Kimmie's house on.....uh.....I wanna say Saturday night? Fuck, I don't even remember half the shit that happened this weekend. It was literally one of the best weekends of my life. Ever.

Anyways, Gary and I did a line of tweak and not one of us slept. This included Matt, Clayton, Randy, Stankis, Kimmie and Hector I wanna say his name is, and others. So we didn't sleep, etc etc. Once 5 o clock rolled around, Gary suggested the jacuzzi. We of course were the only ones down. So we took a 40 of Bud Light down to the pool/jacuzzi side and got in. We ended up taking our bottoms off and touchy touching, then he started fingering me and we were kissing and then finally i wrapped my legs around him and...basically died. We fucked in the jacuzzi for a bit in all sorts of positions and whatnot when we decided to finish in the bathroom. We both go totally naked and just ravished each other. I threw out my back from sitting on the toilet while he vigorously ate me out, fingered me and fucked me. He came on my pubes. It was fucking great.

After that, I looked in the mirror and never felt more beautiful in my life. Anyways, we went back up and Clayton asked me if I had fun in his "OH RLY!???" voice. I grinned and was like why yes i did Sir Clayton. Yes I did. I could hear everybody mumbling words under their breath about us and instead of feeling judged and anxious like I always do, I felt fucking proud. I felt proud that I finally took the initiative to get something that I wanted, and I felt proud of my body. I felt proud of myself. Anyways, the boys (Gareth, Clayton and Randy) asked me if I would take them to Van Nuys to get some meth, and I agreed because I received gas money. Gas money that goes straight into my Drug Money. Or, DM, as I like to affectionately call it.

So we go to this swap meet, Randy gets the shit, and I book it back to Clayton's. We did over 3 grams between us. I met a guy named Vick, who was one of those people who was somehow still functioning on wayyy too many drugs. He gave us great coke. For free. He gave us this weed with hash oil and Opium seeds in it. For free. Oh. My. God. I have never been more tweaked out in my LIFE. Okay, maybe I'm still pretty tweaked out right now. ANYWAYS. So we chilled at C-Tone's all day, doing massive amounts of drugs. We ended up heading back to Simi. We go to Emily's house so Gary can get his bike and fix it so he has a way around town. (On a side note, OMG HOW CUTE IS HE!? Riding a bike because he doesn't have a car? AHH!!)

So Clayton ditches us for a bit, and I'm left with Randy to meet up with Gareth at the nearest 7-11. We get there, and no Gary. We stand outside the car and see a kid walk by in a black and red plaid button up shirt, tugging along Gary's bike. Randy of course trips the fuck out and starts thinking that somebody kicked Gary's ass and stole his bike. We book it back to Emily's and tell her dad (Kevin, whom is a lovely human being, completely unlike his Satan Spawn Emily). We go outside and Gary calls, saying that he went to buy booze for a friend. Anyways, long story short, fast forward a few hours. It's late, and we don't really have a plan. We've been talking to Matt who really wanted us to hang with him, but he didn't have a ride. So Gary ends up installing my front door speakers (FINALLY YES YES YES!!), we find out I need oil in my car, and we lag our asses to Matt's.

So we get there, and Clayton tells me that Tiffany and Bobbi wanted to hangout with us! My immediate reaction goes a little something like this:
UHM
WHAT
WAT
WAHT
WUT
THE
FUCK
AB
SO
LUTE
LY
FUCK
ING
NOT.
(referring to Samantha, obviously. I wore her black v-neck and it looks much better on me and I am never ever giving it back to her.)
Then I find out that they dropped Sami off at home(where she went on my fucking computer without asking me WHAT THE FRESH FUCK YOU STUPID BITCH UGH I HATE YOU GO AWAY FOREVER YOU FUCKING SLAG), and they have Schmoe and the Great Sami Burns with them! They say they have a party to possibly go to but they aren't sure so they are coming by to say hi and hang out anyways, and Clayton and I suggest the idea of a jacuzzi! Hah! Oh, the irony. Sort of.

So they get here, they say they aren't going to the party. I invite them to go jacuzzi-ing with us. They stall on answer. Gary informs me that we have been invited to his friend "Silk's" house. The girls have to go. Sigh. Tiffany was so so the entire time I saw her. Because of course I can't tell her about my day but I have the time to listen to her yak and yak about how great of a weekend she had with Sami and Bobbi. Like bitch, I could give two shits! All you did this weekend were activities that I don't care for! Anyways, another flash forward. Gary takes off on his bike to Silk's, and after a detour, me and the boys roll up. FUN ENSUES.

I almost fall over at the sight of Chris Evans' fucking IDENTICAL TWIN sitting next to me. We smoke some of the weed/hash/opium mix. Some of us draw, I see Matt hitting the pipe and my heart aches for the drug. I watch Clayton and Matt draw, joke around with all of these wonderful people, pet the kitten and draw my own shit. I'm waiting for somebody to say jacuzzi, because that was literally the only thing on my mind. Gareth informs me of his "thing" with Silk. I am fuming with jealousy because we are the only three people in a room at the one time and she just STARED at him while she talked. Silk is this teeny tiny little ethnic colored but totally white washed almost 17 year old bisexual who has been seriously fucked over by both sexes recently. I am immediately curious and turned on.

Eventually, everyone goes into a different room and I am left by my lonesome. Silk comes in twice and we strike up conversation. I am immediately grateful for this no bullshit sweetheart who is totally into me. Gary comes up after she leaves, tells me to go downstairs and chill with them. I am drawing, so I bring my sloppy ode to Marijuana downstairs and work on it next to Silk. Next thing I know, the two of them are like JACUZZI!? The first thing that popped into my head was HI HELLO THREESOME. On the walk over, I doubt my thoughts. I just met the girl. She seems close to Gareth, almost scary close. All hopes for jacuzzi sex round two are diminished. I am quite sad. I get silent. Gary hops the gate and opens the door. We all strip and slide into the jacuzzi. It is lukewarm. Meaning it will get really cold.

I look around, seeing a bagillion video cameras. Odd. We soak for a while, and we all agree the pool is chilly. Some awkward silences are had, and Silk announces that she is going to get out soon. My fear? Gary wanting to get out too. So, it is time for my beloved little Silk to hope out and walk away. She is still in the hearing vicinity when I tell Gareth how much I enjoy her.

Once Silk is totally out of hearing distance, I swim around riding a little invisible underwater bike. I tell Gareth that his theory of keeping moving while in the water to keep warm has failed miserably, and I tell him he sucks. He coyly suggests...sex again! I, very vixen-y, agree ever so nonchalantly. He takes off his shorts and I just swim around all sexy like and what not. He swims over to me and yanks my bottoms off, telling me that I have to get naked too! We get close and start eating each others' faces. But sexily. Oh my lord. Then he grabbed me and I wrapped my legs around him, squeezing and rubbing and kissing him everywhere. He started rubbing my clit, but I was far too sore from yesterday for him to be doing that right then. He's a little rough in that department. I tell him easy, easy, and push his hand back a little. He looks at me and says he's sorry, to which I reply no worries. We passionately embrace and kiss like we are starving and the only thing to eat is our faces. We fucked and fucked. I sat on him, he caressed and massaged and pulled on and sucked on my breasts and kissed me. When he wasn't inside of me, my hand was wrapped around his dick and his lips were wrapped around my nipples. We change to this odd jacuzzi version of doggy style, which is by far my favourite sex position ever. The doggy style in general, not this specific harder than normal version of doggy style. We flip and I've got my leg over his shoulder. We flip again and we are digging our nails into each others' backs, moaning up a goddamn storm. I've already cum twice now, and right as I am violently orgasming, he pulls out of me under the water and finishes while I massage his back and scratch his head and moan and bite his neck. We are in this embraced position for a little while, breathing heavily and slowly getting our heartbeats back to normal. We separate and sit there. Dazed. Not confused. Relieved. We start chatting...I look up to the cameras and blow them a kiss. I turn to Gary and he tells me that somebody is going to have a grand time reviewing our video and that it is going to go YouTube viral. I tell him I am going to get famous from my sex tape!

He laughs. We chit chat further and end up on the topic of Emily The Satan Spawn Cokehead from Hell. He tells me their sex life, and I quote, "went sour so quickly". He will sometimes reveal his hurt little boy side when it comes to Emily, but it is always overtaken by his hatred/annoyance by her. Hah! I bring up the Bobbi threesome idea. HE IS DOWN! Actually, he is SO down, to quote the lovely BROWN eyed BROWN haired Cancer boy that I am so attracted to. So I swim around naked, he enjoys my nakedness. We realize that it's getting late and that I must go soon. We stay in another five minutes, both proclaiming how we were going to get out in a minute. Gary finally gets out, and I follow. We go back to Silk's where I find that I don't have to take Matt, Clayton, or Randy home! Fuck yes! I give hugs to all, saving Gareth for last. We hug and our pelvises just go straight into each other, festering in a velvety horny heat. We embrace, and I leave.

Cue the girly thoughts and happy dances. Haha. So I got home at like, 5 something. My mom is awake. I figure Sami is awake because she has community service during the week. I go to her room and see her door open. I lean in and call for her with no answer. I go to my bathroom to double check that she isn't in it because I swore I hallucinated and saw her long, thin hair. Apparently not. I speak to my mother, who of course knows what's up. I still lie through my teeth though, mostly in order to get her off of my back. I question about Sami and don't find out for another ten minutes that my sister thinks Sami got picked up by Chris. I ponder this. I find out that the Sami-Bitch was on my computer last night without my permission. I am never leaving my computer unlocked again. ANYWAYS. My brain works it's wonders and I come to the conclusion that she probably got "scared of the dark" and had an "anxiety attack" and probably "cried by herself in her room" and then texted Chris "#1 Ultimate Womanizing Dirty Whore", asking him to pick her dainty ass up.

I'm pissed. All I wanted to do was tell her about how I FINALLY got laid, TWICE. But no, she is at Chris's. No doubt having sex that she will tell me alllll about (which I seriously don't want to fucking hear about. Fucking gross.) Then I think about how I have all these things to tell her, but she also has things to tell me that I don't care about right now, never had and never will. I basically have no chance to tell myself and everyone around me that I had an amazing weekend and that it was so so so so so so so much better than hers. She will beg to differ, obviously.

Anyways. This is where I stand right now. Also, I now understand Sami. masturbating < the real thing.

So. I am still fucking twakked out right now. My vision is going places and my jaw is killing me. I'm done now. This has been my fun weekend post.