1:28 AM. May 24, 2011.

I'm only waiting for my beautiful chrome nails to dry before i knock out. Should've knocked out hours ago but Tumblr/Christina/this blog thing happened.

Maybe i'll take an ativan or something...or I just yawned so that's a good sign that I might be able to pass out soon. I have to wake up and actually make it to class tomorrow. I need to.

I can't wait to write more in this thing.

AGH if Lady Gaga's song Judas would stop repeating itsself in my head, maybe I'd have more uhm...more..motivation to pass out.

Okay. Tis all for now.

Oh lord, I'm baaaack.

I got out of rehab and went for 3 and a half months before relapsing.
Gary has been in jail. He will (if everything goes as planned) be home by next weekend. I couldn't be any happier. I love him.


As for my last post, here is where I am now. I have been gettin the THC. Contemplating on quitting. At least smoking. Got my tongue pierced. I fucking love it. I got the Gemini symbol tatted on my neck. I have a job on the weekends. I get to register for classes in a little less then a week and then I can start looking for a job for during the week.

As for the rehab, I ended up staying in good old Santa Clarita. FML.

So here I am. Back. I guess.

I'm being shipped off to 30 day rehab in Bakersfield tomorrow.

First things I'm going to do when I get back?

Get high and tattooed. THC only.

Then my tongue piercing. Then job.
Speaking of, guess who got called today for an interview the day she finds out that she's being shipped off to rehab? AHA. Yeah, it's me.

That's my life and exactly why I believe in karma and the supernatural.

i just dont know what to do anymore

hayley is clearly upset with me and i had to hear it from the guy im crushing on. she has articles of my fucking clothing.

been invited to her boyfriends party tonight with said boy.
been called upon by simi boy. want simi boy. need simi boy.
would have to lie to mom again about car use.
sister too selfish and irritating to do simple oil change that car desperately needs.
stuck in house. going crazy.
debating on drinking four loko tonight and going to simi.

im in this house alone. basically. rachel is napping in my bed -_-
everything is going wrong
im crying now
i just cant
i dont want to

i want to kill somebody.
i want to kill something PREFERABLY THOSE STUPID FUCKING DOGS BARKING THEIR GODDAMN HEADS OFF AND GIVING US A HORRIBLE REPUTATION IN THIS SHITTY CHEAP JUDGMENTAL ASIAN NEIGHBORHOOD

im about to go ape shit
i swear to fucking god

THis is how I know I'm a better person and friend than Tiffany Nicole Jashinsky.

Because even though all she does is act like a fucking goddamn CHILD, three months ago she made a post that is 100% true.

This is the link.
http://tiffawesome.tumblr.com/post/654785933/at-least-i-know-that-if-all-else-fails

This is the post, in case it gets deleted.

Title: at least i know that if all else fails,
Subject: i’ll always have michelle muldoon.
Tags: michelle muldoon, is the best, she always turns my tears to laughter

Now why the fuck would I always be there for her when all this bullshit has happened? Because I am a goddamned great friend. Yes I can be flakey, two faced, bitchy and down right selfish sometimes but everyone is at some point. Now I know you're thinking MICHELLE. WHAT THE FUCK. Why would you stay friends/be there for her? That's retarded and pointless and it will only make you fucking depressed!

Now I'm saying....if I were Tiffany and she was me, I would want her to do this. But she won't. So even though she could care less if I drove myself off the freeway like I almost did last night, I will always be here. Because everyone deserves somebody who will always be there.



So who is there for me? Myself. That's all I can rely on me and myself.


pitiful.

For Later.

http://www.tumblr.com/themes/by/elleusine

ALSO

http://www.tumblr.com/theme/11525

AND

http://www.tumblr.com/theme/10699

Frazier.

Hayley is finally taking me to Frazier! Woot!

Did a bump of tweak. Lost cell phone. Now pissed and cannot contact Hayley. Hnng.